How to Fix Insecurities in Your Marriage
We all have insecurities that come from our inner voice that tell us…
You’re not like other people. You’re a failure. You never get anything right. No one will ever love you. You’re fat. He doesn’t really care about you. You’ve got to keep him interested. You’re better off on your own. You’ll never be able to quit drinking. What’s the point in even trying? You’ve got to be in control. It’s your fault if he gets upset. You’re never going to find another person who understands you. Don’t be too vulnerable or you’ll just wind up getting hurt.
Once you recognize the areas in your life where you’re insecure, where that insecurity comes from and then own it, you’ll be able to use these quick tips to help build your confidence:
Understand the Power of Saying 'No'
Confident people don't over-promise. They understand the value of time and effort and are conscious to commit to things that are aligned with their goals, dreams, passions and beliefs. Confident people are able to give their spouse their best because they have healthy boundaries.
Listen More Than You Speak
People with confidence listen more than they speak because they don’t feel like they have anything to prove to others. Confident people know that by actively listening and paying attention to others, they are much more likely to learn and grow. Instead of seeing interactions as opportunities to prove themselves to others, they focus on the interaction itself, because they know this is a far more enjoyable and productive approach to people.
Ask for Help
Confident people know that trying to accomplish things in life cannot be done alone. They ask for help and don't feel threatened or less than by seeking help from others.
Here are some Couples Connecting Questions for you and your spouse can talk trough this week to drive more understanding of each other:
- Do you know anyone who is extremely insecure? What are some of the behaviors you see?
- What are two areas that you are very confident in?
- Did your parents and siblings ever make you feel insecure or ashamed? Tell me a specific memory you have.
- When do you feel most insecure?