After The Affair
How do affairs happen?
Is it possible for couples to recover from an affair and actually live their happily ever after?
Affairs usually take place because they meet important emotional needs. But most affairs meet only some emotional needs not met in marriage, leaving others that are being met by a spouse.
An affair happens because there is a void in the relationship and one person goes outside of the marriage to fill that void.
This post is for couples who have experienced an affair and are willing to work on their marriage and make the steps to rebuild trust and forgive.
If you broke trust in your marriage, here are 4 steps you have to do:
Break things off with your lover. Block their number. The relationship has to stop. No more contact. This shows your spouse you're willing to move forward together with no distractions.
Account for your time. Share calendar. Since trust has been broken, you now have to be 100% transparent with your life. No more secrets.
Spend as much time together as possible. Its hard to imagine spending time with the person who you hurt and feel distance from. Fake it till you make it. It might be awkward at first. Some quick wins would be date nights. Connection time daily. The 60 second blessing link
Tend to your spouse's emotional needs. They've been hurt, there will be anger and depression. Allow them to express their feelings and grieve with them. Don't stuff or minimize their pain.
Find a mentor, a life coach, a pastor or a close friend who can keep you accountable.
The average couple who experiences an affair in marriage goes through at least two years of recovery. Don't give up!